We here at the NAVF would like to share some of our successes. We are so thankful for our donors and philanthropists who helped us raise $1,643,000 towards a very significant case in New Jersey. This is a case in Union County, New Jersey. And thanks to our commitment of making the majority of the money available to our causes, the recipient of our help in this matter will be getting a check for $1,500,000 to help with all of her legal costs. Our donors have come through big time for a woman with one son who was brutally attacked in the legal system by a very malignant narcissistic psychopath ex-husband. The husband presents, in classical fashion, as being poised, charming, calm, collected and professional. He claims to be an executive leadership coach or management guru. He fabricated an entire narrative against our client to orchestrate transfer of custody to himself so he could promptly have a cast of babysitters watch the child. He initially succeeded in getting her parenting time supervised and he has relentlessly attacked her at every opportunity. Our panel of experts reviewed the case and his behavior and presentation was so alarming that it compelled our involvement in the case. We know that narcissists reject any assessment of themselves as narcissists (often claiming that they have never spoken to the professionals making the assessment), but our experts have never been wrong. This ex-husband is at the extreme end of the spectrum of malignant narcissism. His externalization of blame is off the charts and he has been destroying his son by continuing to fight against his ex-wife. In this case, there was even a joint expert that recommended a modest equal parenting time plan, but this narcissist rejected it. In classical fashion, he is obsessed with control and domination. Although he earns a large salary, our donations to this woman will now serve as the foundation for this narcissist’s financial destruction. His lawyer will fan the flames of his pathology, spurring him onward to even more litigation and legal fees. As he gets closer to retirement, he will have insufficient retirement funds because he will have spent all of his money fighting his ex-wife only to get a result that he could have obtained early on by being reasonable and settling for equal parenting time. The recipient woman in this case will now be able to outlast him financially, and she will use his pathology against him. Narcissists can’t settle or back down, and this serves as the foundation of their ruin. The only way they succeed is that they have superior financial resources. But if their ex-wife has superior financial resources, then the narcissist will simply spend himself into the ground and end up with what he could have had in the beginning by demonstrating a willingness to settle on a 50/50 basis.
Interestingly, when the narcissist sees that his victim is prospering and not being hurt financially–demonstrating an ability to match him financially–he often becomes enraged and obsessed with trying to figure out how she is able to manage. In our cases, it is the multiple wealthy philanthropists that enable those we work with to outlast the narcissist. We have seen an obsessive, almost voyeuristic fixation on their victim’s finances.
But back to our Union County, New Jersey matter. This woman now has superior funds to litigate without concern for cost. She is now fortified to outlast her ex-husband financially, which will cause the narcissist to spend all of his assets in the fight because his pathology won’t let him settle. He lives for conflict and enjoys the fighting and the only thing that will make him stop is running out of money. In this case, our client will now make him run out of money.